What I Am Not (A Letter to Those Who Try to Control Me): Breaking Free Through Faith and Self-Worth

In a world that often seeks to shape us into molds we were never meant to fill, the poem "What I Am Not (A Letter to Those Who Try to Control Me)" is a powerful declaration of individuality, faith, and purpose. Written as a letter to those who attempt to manipulate or control, this poem reminds readers of their divine worth and the importance of living a life aligned with God’s purpose. Through empowering tones, it offers a heartfelt expression of strength, self-realization, and reliance on the Creator for guidance and growth.

What I Am Not (A Letter to Those Who Try to Control Me):

I am not a sacrifice

To appease your mentality

I am not here to be formed

God already made me.

It wasn’t for you

It was for Him

I was made to serve Him.

I am not your puppet

I am not yours to drain

I cannot fill you

I am not supposed to.

I do not have strings

For you to pull or

Do anything with

I have purpose

That you cannot define. 

God made me

A vessel, for Himself

To refine. 

For Him I shall live

Uninterrupted 

Not by your design.

You can’t steal me

You can’t have me.

I am not yours.

I am meant to breathe

I am meant to climb.

I can learn

I can grow

Into all that is not, what I have rejected

I was not convinced to be your way of me

Because I am my own. 

My life showed me what I do not want to be

You showed me what I do not want to be.

I do not have to replicate your iniquity.

I can follow God and I choose to.

I choose to throw away what was never meant to be.

I am meant to be a tree planted by water

I am meant to bear fruit from a good branch.

I am meant to be corrected by God, and only God

Because He is my savior, and He is my righteous path.

"What I Am Not (A Letter to Those Who Try to Control Me)" serves as a profound reminder that our value and purpose are rooted in God’s design, not in the expectations or desires of others. It invites us to reject the iniquities imposed upon us and to embrace a life of faith, growth, and fruitfulness. With its blend of resilience and surrender to God, this poem inspires us to live authentically, refusing to be defined by anything other than the truth of who we were created to be.

The Calm After the Storm: Finding Stillness After Turmoil with PTSD | A Poem & Painting Duo

Welcome to The Calm After the Storm, a heartfelt poem exploring the complexities of healing and the unsettling nature of tranquility. After enduring immense turmoil through trauma-inducing experiences, peace is often anything but peaceful. This poem seeks to demonstrate the unease of being confronted with sudden calm after being forced to flee life with trauma responses. I have paired this evocative poem with my painting, The Seas Occasion, to explore the unique experiences of PTSD survivors who grapple with the paradox of calm after chaos.

The Seas Occasion: A calm yet moving sea that mirrors the complexities of healing—peaceful skies above, with unseen turmoil shifting beneath the surface.

If this theme resonates with you, explore my collection of PTSD-inspired sea paintings available for purchase here. Each piece reflects unique elements of healing and transformation.

The Calm After the Storm:

Tranquility comes most unexpectedly;

A calm right after a storm.

Exhausted from drowning, 

Coerced to currents of the past.

A body so withered

Is forced to mourn 

Skies unrecognized

Absences of darkness

Serenity so obscene — 

Dismantled trust

The weight of expectancy.

Presence of repose

Juxtapose — 

Turmoil at sea.

A mind so distorted

Can varily see.

A survivor cannot fathom

Stillness of tranquility.

Heightened awareness

Defines the deafening.

After living life so reactively and having our day to day experiences include a never ending stream of various triggers, it can be a difficult adjustment to encounter times when we don't need to flee in trauma responses. When there’s nothing left to react to, peace can feel almost terrifying. We’ve grown accustomed to protecting ourselves by any means necessary, and that constant state of alertness that is our familiarity, suddenly makes things difficult. It can translate into anxiety, making the smallest tasks seem like insurmountable challenges. What seems insignificant to others can feel overwhelming to those of us with PTSD. After suffering triggers and responses born from our traumas for so long, the stillness that comes with healing feels like another unknown danger.

Thank you for joining me in exploring the unsettling calmness that often accompanies healing after trauma. If this poem or reflection resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. What has been your hardest experience in navigating the journey of healing through trauma? Share your insights in the comments— your voice and experiences are valuable in uplifting others on similar journeys.

On my YouTube channel, DreamsReaped, I share narrated versions of my poems, bringing them to life with emotion and gentle music. Be sure to visit and subscribe to stay connected. And don’t forget to check back here each Monday for a new poem inspired by themes of PTSD, healing, or faith in God. I hope these works inspire and uplift you.

Anthem of Rights: Reclaiming Autonomy and the Power to Assert Yourself

This poem is more than just words for a frame—it’s a daily reminder of the strength we all carry and the human right to assert ourselves, no matter the situation. Life will always bring its share of challenges, but we must never hand over our power to others. Even in circumstances where our ability to fight back feels limited—whether as a minor or in situations of authority—we can still choose how we assert ourselves.

As a teenager, I was silenced, smothered, and taught that speaking my mind would have consequences. Some battles were worth the fight, but over time, exhaustion set in. Now, I refuse to let anyone take my autonomy or dignity. There’s power in knowing what you will and won’t tolerate. Not everything can be fought for, but mistreatment is never acceptable. Let this poem be your anthem, a declaration that your boundaries and your voice matter — always.

Anthem of Rights:

I can stay and I can go

I can say yes and I can say no

I can take care of my body

I only have one after all

I don’t have to trample my boundaries

I have body autonomy

I won’t let you get in front of me

I won’t let you tell me no

I can be who I choose to be

You have no say in the matter

I will not only be

a darkened kaleidoscope of trauma responses

that overtake my body

disallowing me to breathe.

I can create my future

I am allowed to be me

I can be in my present

I am allowed to be free

I am no longer locked away

inside my own mind, where I am blind

and all I do

is suffer and bleed

I will not live in the past

I am done with this PTSD.

Anthem of Rights is a call to action and a source of strength for those who’ve felt powerless. It’s a proclamation of the inherent value of your autonomy and the choices you make to assert it. While life will test us and push us to our limits, it’s crucial to hold onto the fire within—the part of you that knows mistreatment is never okay.

Let this piece serve as a daily encouragement to honor your boundaries, defend your dignity, and fight for what truly matters to you. The power to reclaim yourself is always worth the effort. Never forget your worth or your right to be treated with respect.

Keep the empowering message of Anthem of Rights close by purchasing this inspiring print. Hang it on your wall as a daily reminder of your strength, your boundaries, and your right to stand up for yourself. Let it encourage you to hold onto your power, no matter the challenges you face.

You can purchase the print here: https://www.dreamsreaped.com/shop/p/an-anthem-of-rights-ptsd

If you would like to hear a narrated version of this poem, visit my YouTube channel DreamsReaped, or click this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvCuYjTEUHg

Don’t stop here—join me each Monday for more poems that delve into the journey of PTSD recovery, the path to healing, and the profound role of faith in overcoming life’s challenges. Let’s walk this road together.

Dripping in Sunrise: The Brilliance of Transformation | A Poem & Painting of Faith and Renewal

Trauma has a way of convincing us that we are beyond repair, that the wounds we carry will define us forever. But God sees something entirely different—a healed, whole, and renewed version of ourselves. "Dripping in Sunrise" is a deeply personal poem about the miraculous healing that only God can provide.

As I wrote this poem, I reflected on a specific period in my life when I felt utterly broken. For two decades, I carried unprocessed emotions and hidden pain, unaware of the weight they held. Then, under God’s grace, they began to pour out like a flood. It was a span of cleansing that left me lighter, freer, and allowed me to walk into a new chapter. This poem is not only a testament to my journey but also a reminder of God’s boundless love and His power to heal even the deepest wounds.

Brilliance. - A textured acrylic painting on canvas.

God doesn’t just mend; He creates something far greater—a brilliance born from healing.

Dripping in Sunrise

I’m dripping in sunrise

Born for perfection

Perfect for purpose

There’s only one way

Stand aloud in the crowd

Hear me say

Jesus

Jesus

There’s only one way

To live for the world

To give it light

To proceed with might

Jesus

Jesus

He is the way

You’re born for a reason

Not just a season

Take back your power

Lay it down on the ground

Trust His provision

Seek and be meek

Jesus

Jesus

Proceed without caution

I’m on a mission

Faith paves the way

Jesus Jesus

He will provide

Scarce not, lay aside

Doubt and fear

Extinguish it

Here,

Is Jesus

Jesus

He marks the way

Out of the pain

Desolation and fear

Have no business here

Jesus Jesus

Dissolved it to tears

Vanquished with ease

This pain inside

It has a demise

With Jesus, Jesus

Drenched in His Spirit

Overcome with confession,

I kneel at His feet

For what reason, Lord

Do I have this peace?

It floods my soul

Blessed with refreshment

Revised for my mission

Become a new me

Torn from that death

Inside of me,

Jesus

Jesus

He cleans me out,

I have no doubt,

That

Jesus

Jesus

Births me from pain

Hands me a claim

Turns me around

Sets my heart on a stone

Enshrouds my soul

Pivots my ground

Quests made not —

For my defeat 

The calling

The calling

I was unwell

My darkened scape

Commissioned me forward

God laid waste

To the sear of my skin

Pursue not with haste —

Revise the drive

Says

Jesus

Jesus

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt an undeniable pull to live for God—a yearning that shaped the core of my existence. Yet, for much of my life, I was consumed by my own pain, convinced that sheer willpower alone could carry me forward. “I will do anything for God,” I breathed with unwavering resolve, even as I neglected the brokenness within me. Believing I had already been sacrificed, I was determined to fulfill His will, no matter the cost or the journey. But God, in His infinite love and wisdom, intervened. He revealed that such suffering was never His desire for me. Instead, He cleansed me, lifted the weight of my pain, and filled my soul with lightness., allowing me to serve Him in peace.

The painting Brilliance. mirrors this transformation. Its vibrant seascape, with bold hues of orange and yellow in the sky, signifies the dawn of hope and renewal. The ocean waves, rolling gently beneath the brilliance of the sunrise, reflect the promise of healing and the journey from darkness to light. Just as God’s grace cleansed and revived my spirit, the painting captures that radiant moment of stepping into the fullness of His love. Together with the poem Dripping in Sunrise, they serve as a testament to the transformative power of God and His purifying will for our lives.

There is only one original “Brilliance.” painting created. If its message resonates with you and you would like to purchase it, you can do so here.

You can also explore other meaningful artwork here.

On Thursday, I’ll be sharing a narrated version of this poem on my YouTube channel, DreamsReaped. Come back to immerse yourself in the words and let them resonate alongside the visual story of Brilliance. I hope these works remind you that God’s light is always within reach, ready to bring healing and renewal.

Operation Faith: Scythe’s Role in Euphoria (Living for God)

Euphoria (Living for God) is a story of profound transformation—a journey of the soul reaching for something greater. At its heart, it explores the pursuit of God, the challenges that arise, and the beauty found in surrender. As old defenses dissolve, the characters encounter a divine reshaping, revealing a life beyond anything they imagined.

This is not just a tale of faith; it is a reckoning of choice, courage, and the willingness to release everything for a greater purpose. The poem Operation Faith introduces Scythe, a soul navigating this transformative path. She is boldly stepping into the unknown, trusting God's plan as she lets go of her own. Through her, we glimpse the radical changes that come when God’s purpose takes hold, and faith fuels the impossible.

When referring to "He" or "Him" in this post, I am speaking of God.

Scythe’s cloud eyes are a reflection of her determination to only seek God, and not make plans of her own.

Operation Faith: An Intro to Scythe

God’s Promise in her hair

Rainbows everywhere

To signify, He’ll keep His word.

Clouds retain her vision;

They track Gods direction

As she begins

Operation faith.

Her name is Scythe,

She is here with might.

She lost everything

To be.

Preference to perish,

Should serving God vanish —

Death

Could take her away.

Driven by His purpose,

Her God —

Is her only flame.

As she embarks,

She hands Him her heart.

Trusting 

What she cannot see.

Scythe sets her flame

Observes the frame

Of her mind

Relinquishing control.

She is sailing on His hand,

Adapting to His plan,

Though she knows not yet 

What it will be.

Safe when He is with her

Encased by His love,

She is sailing on the palm of His hand.

The Lord holds her near,

As He rebukes the fear.

He leads her 

To rearrange.

Faith will procreate

Revelation awaits

In His hands, she will evolve.

Carried by His hand, Scythe sails through the unknown, her rainbow hair a symbol of God’s promises.

By seeking God’s plan for our lives, we invite a greatness that surpasses anything we could have imagined on our own. As we release control and place our trust fully in Him, we create space for divine transformation. This surrender opens doors to incredible opportunities, growth, and blessings that are aligned with His purpose for us. A willingness to seek God is going to unlock the potential for a life full of meaning, spiritual fulfillment, and unimaginable breakthroughs.

For the narrated version of "Operation Faith: An Intro to Scythe," where the words come to life with emotion and meaning, visit my YouTube channel here. Join me as I share this poem with you in a whole new way—let the words resonate deeper, and feel the power of God's promise.

Stay tuned as Scythe’s journey in Euphoria (Living for God) continues to unfold. As she pursues God's will for her life, transformation is abundant. Each step brings new revelations, shedding light on what it truly means to follow God. No matter how uncertain the path may seem, she discovers Gods constance through it all. Follow along for more insights into the steep depth of transformative power that God orchestrates when we are willing!

What are you discovering about God's plan for your life? Share your thoughts and join Scythe as she embraces the unknown on her path to transformation.

Hesitation to Call: & God’s Rescue | A Christian Poem on Anxiety and Seeking the Lord

Suffering is a part of the human experience, whether it comes through anxiety, trauma, or the burdens of PTSD. But even in the darkest moments, God’s presence offers a path to healing. This Christian poem explores the hesitation we often feel to pray when we’re overwhelmed, yet it reminds us that God is always ready to comfort us. Healing begins when we step beyond our fear and speak to Him, no matter how broken we feel.

Through poetry, I share the reality of suffering—and the hope I find in God’s presence. If you’ve ever felt trapped in your trauma or struggled to reach out to the Lord, this piece is for you.

Hesitation to Call: & Gods Rescue

So much I have to live for;

For God is whom I love 

To serve Him best is active

Though a weight upon my chest

Dismembers me, and prevents

My mouth from baring praise

I seek His will but still I stall

In ominous awareness.

My plight is heavy,

I wish to speak. 

Airways immobile 

Alarm I cultivate

satan cannot stop me

My God, I know will provide

Drive this out of me

This stake at my heart.

Force my lips to part, O God

This prayer I need to start.

Vexed I have not spoken

Yet, I will prevail

His help I need to even utter

God please, let it be now

The words begin to flourish

Out, they indeed pour

Help me God, I need you

To life, I must endure

Encumbrances galore before me,

I need your strength and might

Prevent me from ruin, O God

Suffocate my demise.

His ear turns towards me

As it always does;

Fluidly He’s constant

As if the morning sun

Never shall He leave me,

Forsake me He will not.

It is I who pauses, and

Begins to seek Him not.

Solace enters in me

Swiftly, as a wind

At the point of recognition to

The One True Living God.

He receives the sought I give

Mutism is a wonder.

It is a choice to fail

Why have I left me here to suffer? 

Through Him do I capture 

confidence for what lies ahead

Rebuke this fear within me, God

Blind my heart for faith.

Unvoiced I’ll only suffer so

With Him I find relief

His calmness saturates my soul

To this I have belief.

As we navigate the struggles of anxiety and hesitation, remember that God's presence is always there, ready to comfort and guide us. Prayer is a powerful way to overcome doubt, find peace, and trust in His rescue, no matter how heavy our hearts may feel.

If this poem resonated with you, I encourage you to leave a comment and share your thoughts. How has God helped you in times of anxiety or hesitation? Don’t forget to check back next Monday for another poem exploring faith, healing, and the journey of life’s challenges.

Experience the narrated version of "Hesitation to Call: & God's Rescue" on my YouTube channel, where the depth of this prayer journey unfolds through every spoken word. Hear the emotion and the power of God's rescue as I bring this poem to life. Click here to listen and reflect on His unshakable presence in our moments of hesitation.